Proof I CAN be BRIEF

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What to say? I could list the very nice things people have said about me or the worst things people have said about me. What I'd prefer is for my essays to speak for themselves. I'm human, I have human frailties. Let's let it go at that, eh? (Goal beginning 9/2011: when able, publish one essay a week. Both light-hearted and serious fare. Join in the conversation!) Blog Archive on right.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Falling on My Mind

:: Blog Warning: Conditions Heavy, Proceed With Caution ::  This is the fourth in a series of blogs about falling--two light and two not light.  (Knowing How to Fall, Knowing How to Fall - Part II, Falling Down the Rabbit Hole).  With the next blog, after two blogs that forage around the underworld, the shadow side of human nature, we return to light fare.

My recent falls involve not just my falling and getting back up, my falling into total disability, and my fallen dreams for the future (heck, I haven't even written about that because, well, I still dream), but also involve my falling expectations for my cognitive abilities and people.  Buddha would be proud.


Monday, June 27, 2011

Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

:: Blog Warning: Conditions Heavy, Proceed With Caution ::  Today's topic is, well, not light.  If you're not in the mood for not light, skip today's offering.

Today's essay is along the line of "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up."  For real.  And to set the stage and let you know how serious I am, I share this from Dr. Marc Loveless, an infectious disease specialist in his Congressional Testimony for CFS Awareness Day, May 12, 1995:  "I have treated more than 2,000 AIDS and CFS patients in my career.  And the CFS patients are MORE sick and MORE disabled every single day than my AIDS patients are, except for the last two months of life!"  One person with ME/CFS has described it like this:
"I may look OK, but I feel like I've fallen down a flight of stairs, rolled into the newly paved (boiling hot tar and sand) road, then hooked behind a truck and dragged a mile. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.  That's how I used to describe my FMS (fibromyalgia). The ME is far worse."
Like many with ME/CFS, I worked myself to the point of near death to assure that (1) I had a roof over my head and food on the table, and (2) my health claims had a snow ball's chance in hell of being taken seriously.


Friday, June 24, 2011

Knowing How to Fall - Part 2

Picking up where I left off in Knowing How to Fall, my gift of knowing how to fall has proved handy at protecting my head in falls (knock on wood, the substance my skull is made of).

It also made me a good skier, not a great skier mind you, but a good one, though I fantasized at one point in my life what would have happened if someone had put me on a pair of skis when I was 3 or 4.  Of course, that would have been someone else's monied life and not the one I'd been born into.  But fantasies are free and so I did indulge however briefly.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Knowing How to Fall

"You need a bubble suit" an ex-partner exclaimed as we approached the end of a year together.  I was tempted.  Of course, I usually fantasized a suit made of colorful balloons.  (From here on out why don't we agree to refer to my ex-husband as my ex-Y, my first ex-partner as my ex-X and my last partner as my ex-X2.  It will make our lives together simpler and writing this blog less cumbersome.)

My ex-X2 was not the first to suggest I surround my body with protective padding.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Definition of Crazy

Today the topic is birds, or perhaps one particular bird.  I'm not really certain if it was one or more birds, as I never got a chance to view the bird(s) in action.

Now, I could have ascertained the type and exact number of bird(s) if perhaps if I were someone else.  It would have been possible, as I have reflective film on my front storm door and I could have sat, with the inside door open, and viewed the bird(s) without his/her/their knowledge to answer that question.  That is, I could have sat if I could have drug my recliner from the living room and if it would fit in the hallway next to the small secretary.

Monday, June 13, 2011

What Size is the Sky?

This must be brief.  It's already 3:29 p.m. and I'm due at my mother's sometime between 6 and 7:30.  Okay, it's a long way off, but you should see how long it takes me to do anything.  Oh yeah, if you've been reading my blog--re ME/CFS and my general brain dysfunction (i.e., the ability to get very lost in thought)--, then you probably have some idea.

Today, I thought, among other things, that I'd write "the story for another time" from my blog entitled Life's Amazing (the glass is half full/empty).

Friday, June 10, 2011

Flying Into The Mouths of Dogs

For a brief period between Labor Day of 1988 and 1993, I was blessed with the presence of the most amazing dog, a mutt named Doogie.  (The television show Doogie Howser did not hit TV until the following year.)  We, my ex and I, guessed that he was part Harrier because as a pup he looked just like a beagle and grew into a much larger dun-colored specimen that, well, resembled a Harrier in stature more than he did a Fox hound.  All that to say, he was a hound dog, a hunter by nature.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Life's Amazing (the glass is half full/empty)

Today, driving in the car with the Teen (a young woman who has lived in my home for the last year and will be moving back in with her mother a week from today), I recounted the most amazing thing that happened to me on Monday morning.  While I rarely take pictures and never a movie, THIS was one of those times when I wished I had a camera.

Directly in my line of sight, a large black crow was making haste across the sky pursued by a small brown house finch or sparrow.  I thought to myself (because I'm not an ornithologist and have no real knowledge of bird behavior), "This can't be!  It must be coincidental" even though the finch looked to be no further than a foot from the crow's tail feathers while matching its speed, mili-second by mili-second.  As the birds disappeared into the trees, I realized I'd never get confirmation that what I thought I saw was, in fact, what I saw, a chase.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Love Life Back

Like most things in life, I arrived at Life Is Good, Love Life Back as my life's motto via a circuitous route.  Like your life, there's a lot of life back story, but have no fear, I have no plans to share that here in this brief post (brief for me).  


The phrase itself had its origins in a life lesson I had learned in my late 20s.