Lamb-Faced Women

The smell of a coal fire or a diesel engine in the rain along with a nip in the air will transport me to somewhere in Northern Ireland or Scotland where my extended family has lived quicker than just about any other trigger. In fact, I chose to live in the Shenandoah Valley (western Virginia) because its topography reminds me of Scotland. The Shenandoah Valley feels like home to me--that is, to the extent that any place other than Northern Ireland and Scotland can feel like home.

There's No Place Like Home

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again."

Danger Will Robinson

The Christmas after I turned seventeen, my ex-Y began courting me. He showed up at my house unexpectedly with his best friend. While we had become friendly in school and he was a good friend of my closest high school friend Denise, I found his showing up at my house on Christmas day odd, particularly with his best friend in tow. Eventually we started hanging out like the friends we were becoming; mostly because he had this uncanny knack of showing up wherever I was. And I think Denise had something to do with that. Long before we ever held hands, Y and I were already considered an item to others in our social circle.

Months after we started holding hands I was invited to his home for dinner. His was a family that sat down together every evening for a full course meal followed by a homemade dessert. They epitomized normal to me. And I needed normal. My father worked nights most of my life and we sat down to eat as a family one night a week, and I missed that family time the rest of the week. Before long, I became a weekly fixture at my boyfriend's dinner table. Mostly I felt welcome, and that was a good thing because I was drawn to that dining table like bees to honey because my ex-MIL is a fine southern cook.

Though it was 10 years after the last show aired, as far as I was concerned, I'd entered the land of Leave it to Beaver (a warm-hearted television sitcom that ran from 1957 to 1963), where a stable Mom and Pop, the big brother Wally (my boyfriend) and a younger brother, nicknamed The Beaver, lived in almost perfect harmony. The Beave, who was 12, took an instant liking to me. The liking was mutual.

What Women Want

::NOTE:: Aspergian is term used to describe someone who's brain is not wired like a neurotypical (NT) person. Neurotypical is a term used to describe people not on the autism spectrum. Sometimes Aspergians refer to themselves as Aspies and others say they have Asperger's Syndrome (AS). Personally, I don't have Asperger's; Asperger's has me. It is a part of who I am.  

As Aspergian who is also a lesbian, I think I am uniquely qualified to speak to straight men about what women want. Ahem, do I have your attention?