Proof I CAN be BRIEF

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What to say? I could list the very nice things people have said about me or the worst things people have said about me. What I'd prefer is for my essays to speak for themselves. I'm human, I have human frailties. Let's let it go at that, eh? (Goal beginning 9/2011: when able, publish one essay a week. Both light-hearted and serious fare. Join in the conversation!) Blog Archive on right.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Sleep I'm Not Getting

Sleep disruption is a common symptom for many illnesses. Lately, my sleep patterns had been improving only to cycle back into a pattern that is leaving me tired on top of ME/CFS fatigued. Take last night, I had approximately 2.5 hours of interrupted sleep, and when I finally felt ready to pass out again at 11 am, I settled into this delicious feeling of soon to be sleep and then, I fell awake. I am now dreadfully sleepy and unable to sleep.

I write this so you know why I have not been publishing a weekly essay. My brain is too tired to settle on a topic to write about or a story to tell. Summer stories keep popping into my head and I keep batting them back with the promise of "next summer." If something of value floats to the top--that is, if something manages to survive the haze and I have the energy to write about it--, you'll be the first to know.

Sweet dreams, Claire

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Kindness--Its Own Reward

Today, November 13, is World Kindness Day as decreed by the World Kindness Movement, which had it's first conference in 1998. News must travel slowly or I obviously out of the news loop, but I did not hear of World Kindness Day until last week. According to the World Kindness Movement website, "[t]he purpose of World Kindness Day is to look beyond ourselves, beyond the boundaries of our country, beyond our culture, our race, our religion; and realize we are citizens of the world. As world citizens we have a commonality, and must realize that if progress is to be made in human relations and endeavors, if we are to achieve the goal of peaceful coexistence, we must focus on what we have in common...."

However, World Kindness Day is not just about being open to understanding other cultures while being kind. It's also about everyday kindness... making a habit of kindness and ending the warring we do with others in all aspects of our lives. Today's essay on the World Kindness Movement's website poses the question: "Is what I am involved in at this moment promoting joining or separation?"

I have posed a similar question to myself in close relationships for years: "Is my behavior helping bring us closer together or further apart?" And I continually asked this about my behavior because of my commitment to understanding and closeness in relationship. I'd like to think that none of us enters into relationship hoping for its destruction; one of the things I've learned, however, is that people do what they do sometimes despite our efforts for reasons that we can hardly fathom. All we can do is give our best effort and let the chips fall where they may.

As someone with ME/CFS I've also learned that our best effort is affected by our health. Sometimes that's understood and taken into consideration by the people in our lives. Sometimes. And when it is not, sometimes the kindest thing we can do is move on, leaving people to their warring, their projections and delusions or perhaps seemingly brilliant insights into ours.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

I'm Dreaming of a White...


Halloween.

This time last week, two days before Halloween, my housemate and I were out in the front yard with a ladder and broom knocking four inches of snow off of my small 30 foot sugar maple, which was still in full fall-colored leaf, before another two inches of the heavy white stuff could land. The whole eastern coast of the US, from the mid-Atlantic north, was covered in wet snow. When I opened the front door last Saturday morning, the maple's branches were trailing the ground and the snow showed no signs of letting up. My gut told me that the tree was big enough to sustain damage, and so I hastily threw a pair of sweats on under my night gown, yanked on my Uggs, tugged on my wool cap, zipped into my heavy winter coat, and slipped on my gloves. Unable to reach the top branches, we crossed our fingers that they were small enough and resilient enough to survive the snowfall yet to come. (Maple pictured right after our excursion, limbs still in partial droop.) It's likely our efforts were rewarded because all around town, maples of a similar size were later seen with one or more limbs helplessly dangling from their trunks.